Family Life
I have been asked on several occasions what we do as a family to cope with the Covid-19 Pandemic. I find myself wanting to write a witty and innovative blog as my answer, but there is only one problem – we haven’t really done anything differently since the pandemic started. Let me explain!
Several years ago, I served in a ministry setting that was frankly not great for our family. I worked every hour I could possibly fit in. While I was working 70+ hours a week, Miriam was at home with baby twins and a three-year-old. I remember one week leaving the house at 7:30am, returning for 30 minutes at 5pm and then heading back out till 9:30pm. Something was going to break, and we were determined it would not be our family! It was time to make some changes!
Ever since that time, we have had certain rules that have now become a way of life for us. That way of life has continued through lockdown. So, from our family to yours, here are 10 things we do as a family to navigate life (not just Covid-19):
1. Dinner time is family time – Every night we sit round the dinner table and eat together. You don’t need a dining table to do this, you can sit on a blanket if you want (my advice if on a blanket – no cups of juice!). Carving (excuse the pun) time out every day to sit and eat together has been such a blessing! Tonight, plan a meal and sit together!
2. Best Thing/Hardest Thing – At each dinner time, we ask the kids what the best and hardest thing is from their day (we also share ours). It is a great way to find out what your children enjoy and what they might be worried/sad about. I must admit, best thing tends to be related to food. Go on, try it, what’s the worse that could happen?
3. Everyone helps! – tidying is a family activity, cooking is a family activity, washing clothes is a family activity, watering the vegetable plot is a family activity. Do the children get in the way? Sometimes. Are the jobs done properly? Rarely. Yet, as a unit, we work together and are blessed for it. Sit down and dish out some jobs as a family, be patient and don’t look for perfection.
4. Church is a joy! – I nearly wrote ‘church is a must’ but stopped myself. There is never a question about whether we go to church or not, we always do. Whether on holiday, at home, or online. We always go to church! It is a joy to sing songs together, to talk about the Bible and to be with Gods people (the girls only complaint is that I talk too much). Be an example to your children, church is at 10am every Sunday!
5. Work/Family – my role as a Pastor means that I can often find myself busy and mentally overwhelmed. It is hard to carve out family time, but our rule is simple, I try my best! I try to sneak time whenever I can, to be with Miriam and the Kids. It might be a short walk, or a quick trip to get Ice-cream, but these moments are precious. It reminds my kids that I’m not just a Pastor, I am dad! Don’t beat yourself up, try your best and start with a quick break to go for a walk with your family.
6. Daily Reading – Miriam and I started a ‘read your Bible in a year’ program 5 years ago (no it hasn’t taken us 5 years; we are now on our fifth time reading the Bible in a year). Each day the kids see us reading our Bibles, they ask us questions and we talk about that days reading. In all our busyness, it is important that Gods word has a prominent place. Have your Bible next to where you have breakfast, a simple reminder to read first thing!
7. Bedtime prayers – As we tuck in the girls, we pray. We take it in turns, sometimes the girls will pray, sometimes we will pray. These moments often reveal what the girls might be worrying about and so lead into quiet reassurance that God is our ever-present help in times of trouble. Talk about what your children want to pray for, then simply, tell God!
8. Family only time! – We love to watch movies, go for walks, explore new places and of course eat! We quite often shut the world out and just have family time doing our favourite things. A recent favourite has been to watch Countryfile together! Don’t tell anyone what you are doing, just do it together!
9. Call on help! – We are blessed to have Granny nearby, but we also have Nana, uncles and aunts, cousins and family all over the place. We are not shy in calling for help. It might be to give us a night off, a facetime with the girls (usually to give us 5 minutes of peace) or when we are struggling financially, or practically. Never be ashamed to ask for help, raising children is hard, don’t think you can make it on your own! If you need help today, call someone!
10. Discipline! – Yes, we expect our children to behave and yes, we do discipline them. However, I am also talking about discipline as parents. As husband and wife, it is important that we are constantly supporting one another, sometimes through encouragement, other times through gentle (!) reminders (let’s be honest, I need to be reminded to get away from my desk quite often). Be gentle, be kind but be honest when something needs to change!
I pray that some of these might be of help to you. Keep going in the Lords strength, the reward is worth the effort.
Pastor Ross Ferguson